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Yesterday Daddy, you fathered me.
Today dear mother, you birthed me.
I was there, you were there
We all stood witness.
I heard your whispers,
that you love me.
I heard you tell each other
how beautiful I was viewed
in my eternal quietude.
I even felt your soft caress
as you held me to your chest.
On this morn, mourn not for me.
With ethereal grace I have a name.
I have a home, I have a life...
To live through all eternity

Chloe, You are my sunshine
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away

The other nite, dear,
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms.
When I awoke, dear,
I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried.

Chloe's Baby Garden - it breaks my heart.

Thank you to everyone who visits Chloe and lights a candle to her. It means so much.   
   

 

 
                


This is Chloe's turtle that was adopted and released on her behalf in the Indian Ocean in August 2006.

To My Mummy,  

My Mummy is a survivor, or so I've heard it said. 
But I hear her crying at night when all others are in bed. I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand. She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand. But like the sands on the beach that never wash away... I watch over my surviving mummy, who thinks of me each day. She wears a smile for others...a smile of disguise. But through Heaven's door I see tears flowing from her eyes. My mummy tries to cope with death to keep my memory alive. But anyone who knows her knows it is her way to survive. As I watch over my surviving mummy...through Heaven's open door. I try to tell her that angels protect me forever more. But I know that doesn't help her or ease the burden she bears. So if you get a chance, go visit her...And show her that 
you care. For no matter what she says...no matter what she feels. My surviving mummy has a broken heart that time won't ever heal! 

  


   









 
You can shed tears that she has gone
Or you can smile because she has 'lived'
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all she has left
Your heart can be empty because you cant see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow because of yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that shes gone
Or you can cherish her memory, let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty turn back
Or you can do what she'd want
OPEN YOUR EYES, LOVE, AND GO ON 
         

               

 
"How anxious I was for the pregancy to be over. How impaitient I was for each day to pass. Little did I know that those were the only days I would have with you. Why did I wish them away instead of savouring each moment we had together?"


    Chloe aged 3

"So many babies. Mine is not the only one. I know so  many mothers who  have lost a child, and I wonder why. Has it always been this way? Is there something in our air or water that is killing our babies? We know so much about medicine, but this problem seems to be getting bigger. Or maybe it just seems bigger because I am part of it now."

      





   

"I held her perfect little body. Tiny toes and fingers and wispy blonde hair. Its hard to believe that just a few hours ago she was alive inside my wife. Something happened-I'm still not sure what and she died just before she was born. How could that precious little body be so lifeless? Holding her wasn't like I expected it to be, but I'm glad that at least I got to tell her that Daddy loves her"



  

Please light a candle to help keep her memory alive.


          


     



Sleep tight myin the sky xx

POEMS AND READINGS SECTION

An Invisible Mummy
I grew a child as perfect as you
I did everything Mummys should do
Nothing was different until the day
They told me through tears you'd flown away.
How can this be? It can't be right
Surely I'd know if you had to fight?
40 great weeks we shared together
I thought you'd be with me simply forever!

When I first saw you, I willed you to breathe
"Prove them wrong", I begged you, "please"!
Silently you slept, without a cry
My heart left broken, why oh why?
Beautifully blonde and sweet little face
Time stood still whilst we were in that place
I tucked you in and kissed you goodnight
That was Our Angel, she'd started her flight.

I left without you my arms really ached
No balloons or teddies for celebrations sake
Home was quiet, empty and dark
Your nursery was ready, no walks in the park.

How do I live without my first child?
Having no reason is driving me wild
My life had changed, I'd planned you in it
Now everythings different, at the last minute
No more kisses not even one cuddle
A perfect baby but its all a muddle
My life is in pieces, I have no idea
If and when this will all become clear.

An invisible Mummy, thats what I am
You cant see but I'm pushing her pram
Singing and smiling, I am so proud
My Angel Baby is here so shout it loud!
Suddenly I wake and the pain returns
My heart starts to bleed and my stomach churns
For I realise that all I have seen
Is not me and my baby, but just a nice dream.

A Mummy should never have to feel such pain
And now I've got to do it all again
Just to get where most of you are
With your children near you...not that far
The pathway to Heaven is such a long way
I'll grow wings too hopefully one day
Then me and you will be back together
Where we should be, cuddling, simply forever.


Written by Mummy in April 2007







Please, when you have a chance, visit Chloe's Angel friends to help keep their memorys alive:
Kayla Evelyn - Australia
Alice Crowder- Liverpool, UK 
Leah Porter- UK
Eliie Adams-Moran
Brianna Abbott- USA
Hendyrx Ragle-USA
                        

Chosen Poems Which Say the Words We Struggle to Find



I am so ripped apart but you make me feel whole
I feel so deprived but you make me so grateful
Even though you are far away, you feel so close
I feel so cold but your vision brings me warmth
If I feel angry you make me feel content
I feel so empty but you make me feel fulfilled
I am weak yet you give me strength
It all feels wrong yet you were always so right
I feel regret but I can only appreciate
I am so confused but you make me understand
I feel it’s unfair but convinced there was a reason
I feel guilty when people make me smile
I yearn for you then accept you’re in a better place
I feel nothing, then I feel everything
Is this surreal? Or is it reality?
I feel alone but comforted
People may think me insane, but I have faith
I want to scream out loud, but then think quietly
I have moments of daze and moments of focus
Can I leave this life of chaos-ness and be with you?
Or do you want me to stay here for a purpose?
I feel so scared to be without you, but somehow positive
Why has my dream turned into a nightmare?
I don’t want memories, I want the existence.

My Chloe

I've loved my child right from the start 
A feeling that's filled my entire heart. 
I went through the labour and suffered the pain 
For many long hours with nothing to gain. 
I've spent sleepless nights being awake 
Though it's been a while my arms they still ache. 
I've sat and I've wondered of how she would grow 
The love of my family that she'd come to know. 
The sound of her voice as she learns to talk 
Watching her steps as she tries to walk. 
I have a child that I really love so 
I am her mother yet nobody knows. 
I've spent all these months feeling her grow
 I've lived through it all and have nothing to show. 
I don't get invited to chat with young mothers Because I don't have a baby like all the others. 
I've got some stretch marks that I'd like to hide
 But I don't have a pram with a baby inside. 
The people I've known for so many years 
They avoid me now, which adds to my tears. 
I don't know how long I'll be feeling like this
 But one thing I know, my baby I miss. 
When Mother's day comes it will be very hard
 I won't have any flowers, not even a card. 
And just because she's not here with me
I still have a daughter I wish I could see. 
But one thing I know and this is for sure
 I'll be her mother for evermore!


JUST SAY - " I'M SORRY"

IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL
PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU DO
THERE'S JUST ONE WAY TO K NOW
HAVE YOU LOST A CHILD TOO?
"YOU'LL HAVE ANOTHER CHILD"
 MUST I HEAR THIS EVERYDAY?
CAN I GET ANOTHER PARENT TOO
IF MINE SHOULD PASS AWAY?
"DON'T SAY IT WAS GOD'S WILL"
 THAT'S NOT THE GOD I KNOW
WOULD GOD ON PURPOSE BREAK MY HEART
THEN WATCH AS MY TEARS FLOW?
"YOU HAVE AN ANGEL IN HEAVEN
A PRECIOUS CHILD ABOVE"
BUT TELL ME, WHO HERE ON EARTH SHALL I GIVE THIS LOVE?
"AREN'T YOU BETTER YET"
IS THAT WHAT I HEARD YOU SAY?
NO A PART OF MY HEART ACHES
I'LL ALWAYS FEEL SOME PAIN
YOU THINK THAT SILENCE IS KIND
 BUT IT HURTS ME EVEN MORE
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY CHILD WHO
 HAS GONE THROUGH DEATH'S DOOR
DON'T SAY THESE THINGS TO ME
ATHOUGH YOU MEAN WELL
THEY DO NOT TAKE MY PAIN AWAY
 I MUST GO THROUGH THIS HELL
I WILL GET BETTER, SLOW BUT SURE
 AND IT HELPS TO HAVE YOU NEAR
BUT A SIMPLE "I'M SORRY YOU LOST YOUR CHILD" IS 
ALL I NEED TO HEAR
(AUTHOR UNKNOWN) 


I'll Be There
Daddy please don't look so sad, Mummy please don't cry,
'Cause I'm in the arms of Jesus, and He sings me lullabies.
Please try not to question God, don't think He is unkind.
Don't think He sent me to you, and then He changed His mind.

You see, I am a special child, and I'm needed up above.
I'm the special gift you gave Him, the product of your love.
I'll always be there with you, and watch the sky at night.
Find the brightest star that's gleaming, that's my halo's brilliant light.

You'll see me in the morning frost, that mists your window pane.
That's me, in the summer showers, I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a little breeze, from a gentle wind that blows,
That's me, I'll be there, planting a kiss on your nose.
When you see a child playing, and your heart feels a tug,
That's me, I'll be there, giving your heart a hug.

So Daddy, please don't look so sad, and Mommy don't you cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus, and He sings me lullabies.

In Memory Of Your Little Angel
Chloe Amber 


Thanks to..
www.louiseslodge.co.uk
www.blinkyou.com
www.angelfamilies.cityslide.com
Julie at  www.angelsimages.com/au
www.glitterfy.com
Delia at www.preciousmemorials.com


With references to 'An Empty Cradle, A Full Heart' Reflections for Mothers and Fathers after Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant death.

Copyrights have not been infringed without being aware...please contact me if you would like me to remove something. Thank you.

YOU CAN SHED TEARS FOR HER